To Thank
by suzyq85
Summary: Thanksgiving. Yep,It's Thanksgiving,but I don't care. I have nothing to be thankful for. POV inside. T for mild graphics,mention of character death,and a single swear word.. Read A/N at bottom about Ch 2 please! Oneshot,ch 2 is alt. ending.
1. To Thank

Thanksgiving. Yep,it's Thanksgiving,but I don't care. I have nothing to be thankful for.

We're in the middle of the most disastrous battle I've ever seen. Yes,let's be thankful that thousands of citizens have lost their lives fighting for us. Including...nevermind. I won't think of that. But those thousands are not celebrating this holiday with their family,like they used to. They never will again.

This war has turned me cold and cruel.I don't enjoy life,I'm not thankful that I'm still alive.I don't care;I'm here only to aid. I fight,I help the wounded. But it never affects me. The first time I fought, I broke down sobbing at all the bloody,disfigured corpses lying around. Then when he...No. I won't remember. I refuse to accept the reality of what has happened. The distorted remains of what used to be jubilant Shuggazoomians don't disgust me anymore. I won't even bother with them now. I'm gripping onto the edge of my sanity.

My soul isn't the only ruined part of me. My appearance is revolting as well. My once rich,dark fur has now been reduced to a dry,pale,pathetic attempt at black,with many patches of fur lost. Yes,black. When I lost my faith in the Power Primate,the silver went with it. I don't mind;I'd rather conceal myself in the black fur like a shadow anyway. My bright,olive green eyes have also lost color,changed into a pale green,almost like the color of the vomit many citizens manage to get out with their last sick breath...

Just like...no.

I have to stop remembering him. It makes the pain,the stab in my heart, unbearable. I always manage,however,to think of the great times we had together. Then those happy memories,the only thing keeping me together,disappear as I think of the screams of anguish he made in his final,tortured,moments. I think of his bloody body,mangled beyond any repair, his young,formerly carefree, face filled with terrible pain and horror. His broken limbs,twisted in places that before I thought was not possible,popped out of his joints. His bones made a sickening crack everytime he attempted a motion...

And I could only watch...

Shit.I thought of him. I _**never**_ allowed myself to think of him. But it made me realize something. Would he want me to sulk like I have for a long time now? Would he want me to live in an uncaring world of hate? I know he's up in Heaven,watching me. I suppose that's something to be thankful for. And he was ,_thankfully_, the only one of my team,my friends,_my family_,to leave to a better place. I should be thankful for that. And,we do look like we're _**winning**_! I never noticed before,I didn't care...

And,I'm _alive_. I feel something that I haven't for a while. _Appreciation_. I'm alive. The uncaring brat. I realize how undeserving I've been. Everyone is out there,fighting their hearts out,and I'm sitting here moping about someone who wants me to go out there and win for their honor!

I stand up and begin walking to the battle,and I do something that I haven't for a while. I _smile_,a true,caring smile, and say

"Thank you. I will fight in your honor. Happy Thanksgiving,Chiro".

FIN

I hope that that made you sad,then happy. It made me like that writing it. Note,there is a chapter 2 in this,**HOWEVER**,you may not want to read it.  
If this chapter made you feel something,and you don't wanna spoil it,**DO NOT** read chapter 2! It will make you mad at how messed up it is. It makes sense,but some things may not to you. Chapter 2 is for **humorous purposes**,though you may not find it funny,you may just think I'm a really jacked up person,so **READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!** Please R&R,constuctive critisicm appreciated (in the Thanksgiving spirit,I won't get mad like normal).Happy Thanksgiving!


	2. ALTERNATE ENDING

**ALTERNATE ENDING**

"Antauri!" Called a British accent. "Stop daydreaming again."

"Dammit,Gibson,go away!" I snap back.

He doesn't stop. "One:That's DR. Gibson to you. And TWO: Antauri,That war has been over for 15 years,and Chiro's been dead for 20! Accept it Antauri,it's over,we're not fighting anymore!"

That made me angry. I attack him, but Nova and Sprx grab me as soon as I tackle him. He grabs a needle and I'm sedated very quickly.  
As I drift off, I hear them talking about me. I try to hit them,but I can't, so I listen to them instead.

"Poor Antauri. That war turned him insane..." Gibson said. He lies! I'm not insane!

"I know." Otto says softly. "He was a great guy,always calming us down..."

"But now he needs the 'Quiet Room' just to calm down himself" Sprx finishes sadly. I don't need...the Quiet..room..

"Funny that he used to love sitting in a quiet room to meditate" Added Nova. "Now he never does that, and he hates going there!" .I still...like to meditate!

"We lost two brave souls in the war" Gibson starts. "Chiro and Antauri" .I'm not lost!

Otto speaks again, but his voice is drowned out by darkness...

I awake in the too familiar padded room. I sit up, but realize that I'm in the also familiar strait jacket. I named it Chiro.  
I plop myself down again and begin to laugh. The room feels like cotton candy! I remember arguing with Gibson about Cotton Candy V.S popcorn. Before He got all mean and tried to keep me from Chiro! I laugh louder,crazily. I laugh real hard. I keep laughing. They'll never keep me from Chiro! We're gonna stay best buddies forever,right Chiro?

**Fin**

Okay,please don't kill me. I know that you are probably scarred for life with the picture of Antauri talking to dead Chiro in a strait jacket,  
but I warned you. Okay, this was originally to lighten my mood after writing chapter 1, but it turned out kinda scary...  
**BTW**,I was gonna write a SPOVA story titled "Thankful for you", but I'm no good at fluffs. :p Again,that last sentence of Ch 2 is _really_ creepy... Keep in mind that this is an **ALTERNATE** ending,so this doesn't really happen (thank god!)!  
I suppose you should be _thankful_ that this isn't :p. Anyway,R&R! **Happy Thanksgiving!**


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